The Doctor Is In

Attention Japan: did it not occur to you that round specs and people with dark hair were around long before Rowling-san?
If anyone. And I mean ANYone. Calls me Harry Potter one. more. freaking. time. I don't care how old they are. I will murder them. Then kill them. And then make them wish they weren't born. In that order.

Gonna go take a nice long smoke and come back to this as soon as my hands are no longer using the "curled around someone's neck and squeezing" position as their default.

I don't care if you're going for one day or one year. Get your malaria medicine now or face the wrath of Dr. Shin's Happy Fun Time Malaria Treatments with a bonus performance of Dr. Jou's Preventative Hepatitis Roundup starring your butts and some really sharp needles.

Tickets are on sale now!

If you're lonely, I've got the number of one of those ladies from the club.

...why am I being sent before the hospital board of inquiry?

It's been a whole day since Rie died and I am still as clueless as when I started. I haven't heard from Jou yet and for the record I don't want to. What the hell am I going to do? He's going to find out sooner or later. Medical practice is to notify kin immediately, but Jou isn't Kin. But the amount of work he put into Rie will crush him just as much as if he was her brother.

God, this is frustrating. I suppose I'm going to be the one to break it to him, but what worries me most is that he has to jump right back into work the day after he gets back, so he won't have any time to grieve. I suppose I will go to the funeral, but for once I have no idea how Jou is going to take this. This is going to make or break him. Every intern goes through this, but I'm starting to wonder if it was a mistake to let Jou get this invested.

Shuu coming back when he did is a godsend. I may need his help as much as Jou before this is all over. Jou returns on Sunday. Guess I'd better figure out how to word the news.

Who: Shin Kido and Rie Takanuma

Where: Waseda Intensive Care Unit

 

 

Note: Read this or a six-toed demon will put Nair in your shampoo tonight.

After a long and stressful twenty-four hour labor, Takanuma Chihiro was born to Takanuma Rie at 0640 this morning, yours truly being the assisting physician.

Mother and child are now in Intensive Care but expected to improve over the week. They should be ready to go home shortly after Jou gets back from Okinawa.

Congratulations again to Jou for his work with Rie and for winning the contest. Don't worry, bro. I'll take good care of them for you. Her parents say they owe your a lot more than just gratitude.

Later everyone. I've got a teenage mom to look after now.

PS. I'll drop the presents off at her house tomorrow. How does a welcome home shower sound?

Time:April 6, Approx. 5:30pm (Sometime after Koushirou and Mimi left Akihabara)
What: Shin is suckered hearing more drama of which is none of his business, people!!
Where: Nakano-ku, Shin's apartment. Bachelor pad.

At the very least, Mimi was getting a workout that evening. The sound of her fist furiously pounding against the apartment door would have disturbed the neighbors--had they been home.

But it was not even 6pm yet, and most of the residents were still commuting home from work.

"SHIN-SAN! Open up already! I know you're in there!" Mimi's tone was strong and threatening--and loud enough to be heard over her already thunderous knocking.

Shin cringed as his perfect harmony was shattered by Mimi's impromptu drum solo. He slapped his chopsticks together and abndoned his boxed sushi dinner and sauntered to the door.

He unlocked it and pushed it open a crack, holding the handle tightly so she couldn't make a biggerhole and slip past his defenses.

"I'm eating" said the one eye that greeted her.

"Are you drinking along with it?" Mimi leaned her face towards the crack--that way if the brother chose to slam the door in her face (he wouldn't dare) it would result in injury--and thusly treatment.

Mimi was now face to face with Shin. He could smell even her makeup right now as she eyed him like a leopard. "Yes. I am having a nice cup of tea with my sushi like a good Japanese man."

Mimi shoved herself forward into the crack of the door, her eyes locked with his defiantly. By the looks of things, one false move would end up with his glasses split in two.

"You know that's not what I meant." Mimi started to force her way in. "Where are those drinks I dropped off a few months ago? I want them back."

Shin looked at Mimi like she just asked him to repeat the second grade just because she wanted to see him do his Kanji lessons and stood hir ground as she tried to invade his sanctuary. "Where do you think it is? I drank it! There's like one cocktail left in the fridge."

He felt like he was about to engage in a pushing match with the sister he never had.

( Mimi Says What She Needs To Say, And Hears What She Needs To Hear )

Geez, I have one murderous headache going on. It feels like something's trying to bore its way out of my head through my right eye. Any exposure to light or sound just makes it feel like someone is tap dancing on my brain.

Because Shuu asked me to be nice to Jou; Koushiro-san, this is all your fault.

"Here before you is Mitsukune of Mito, uncle of the Shogun!"

The attendant flashed the inro, decorated with the prestigious Tokugawa crest, in the faces of the leaders of an angry mob of fishermen. Their faces melted with fear and respect of the sudden arrival of someone with unimaginable power, and the men fell to the ground and groveled at the feet of an old man dressed in pauper's clothing and carrying a cane. 
"Lord Mitsukune!" they cried. "Please forgive us!"

The crowd behind him, a motley crew of farmers and fishermen weilding farming and fishing tools as weapons, did likewise and fell to their knees before the Shogun's uncle at the line where they were ready to slaughter one another. In a tiny fishing village that violence and greed was about to rip apart, peace was restored.

"If only it was that easy," Shin muttered into his can of beer as he freed the final drops from their aluminum abode. 

Bask in my presence while you can.

I wanted to drop by to let you all know that right now Jou stands a pretty good chance of winning this contest. But he really needs your support right now, especially from you kids in Japan. He's becoming a total zombie at work lately when he's not with his patient. He's way too quiet and it's driving me nuts. Lately it takes all my strategems to get so much as a dirty look from him, and I really cannot stand to let that continue. My life is no fun if I cannot mess with my baby brother, so I have to swallow my pride and ask you guys to get his spirits back up.

Yes, I am asking you for help. Enjoy it while it lasts.

If you're not going to do this for him, do it for me. My life is a little less fulfilled without getting his awesome reactions from my antics. It's what makes him special.

But really, he may be going to Okinawa in a matter of weeks and he's taken a personal interest in the life of a kid no older than you guys. If he blows this at zero hour because he thinks that everything is riding on his shoulders and he can't handle it I am going to hold YOU personally responsible, at which point I will become a more or less permanent fixture in your lives whether you want me to or not.


Okay, enough of that. Time for me to ascend back to my glorious mountaintop from which I can go back to handing down judgments on humanity.

Added: Koushiro, did you still want to "hang out" or did you finally get over whatever meaningless, overblown drama was afflicting you at the time?

I need to blow some steam off again. Antagonizing teenagers is fun, but it's not having the same effect as my normal methods. I need to vent to someone face to face. Preferably someone of drinking age so I can let the whiskey do half the job for me. Then we can share our sorrows for an hour, we go home, and the next day I go back to being Darth Vader.

It's not that work is particularly bad, but day after day of dealing with crazy, needy people wears on you after a while, even if it's when doing something you love.

What's really busting my hump is that Jou told me that some other doctor is trying to convince Rie to abort the baby. I know the chances of the baby's survival are slim enough as it is, but the fact that someone, whose job it is to heal people mind you, is poisoning a patient's mind and making them lose hope makes me so angry I can't even swear properly. I am going to track this bastard down and make him eat scalpels for this.

Jou has his work cut out for him. The baby is due in the next couple of weeks and we're all getting nervous. There's a pliable tension in the air now when she's around. We can all feel it when Jou goes to take care of her. He's got some excellent staff and facilities backing him up, but every time I watch him go talk to her I can't help but think he's really going in alone.

Goddammit, now I really need to get out. Why can't all these lousy kids be 20? Why is Jou working too much? That does it. I am grabbing him after work tomorrow and dragging him to the first bar or izakaya I find. Then maybe I can resume my rightful place at the top of the world.

EDIT: I'm out of cigarettes. That explains a few things.

I just wanted to say that watching this so-called drama unfold in your lives has given me more laughs than I've allowed myself in a long time. So let me allow another one before I return to my normal cynical, sexy self:

Ah-haaha!

There. Now I must reserve my precious laughter for things that are actually funny, like paying an intern-induced visit to the hosptial one fine Monday night and finding Jou wearing the cutest pink scrub top I've ever seen! Pictures (of which there were plenty) don't do my brother justice. The best part is he wears it so well! I envy you, Jou. Girls always appreciate a guy who can do pink.

However, the fact that you went to see Mimi-chan all by herself, on your own initiative mind you, and nothing happened truly disappoints me. I haven't lost hope in you yet. A few more months under my tutelage and next time that happens there will be something to report back to me with! 

Oh, and did you know that while you kids are running around, screwing around with each other and the digital world, I am actually making a difference in other people's lives? See, that's what makes me better than you. I'm practically running a hospital in another country from here, so that means I can make people's lives better in two places at once! If you guys would actually listen to me one of these days, you might actually evolve from self-serving brats into real human beings! Wait, I can't allow that. That means you'd be as great as I am, and I just simply cannot allow that. Okay, so don't listen to me. Carry on, carry on!

Jou, you did great on your midterm. Congratulations. Now how is your research thesis coming along?  And are you thinking about your semester thesis yet? And don't forget to kick some ideas around for your summer thesis, too. Don't start slacking on me just because some teenager in maternity is your only ticket to the only real vacation you're going to have for the next four or five years!

To the newcomers: welcome. I can't wait to find things to humiliate and demoralize you about. It shouldn't be hard. You guys treat this like a diary. Crushing self-esteem is one of my many personal hobbies. 

To the old crew: remember that Jou is the only thing standing between me and you. 

Okay, back to being awesome.

(screened to all but Jou)

Not that it needs repeating, but I hate you all. And that doesn't really matter because you can't read this anyway, so ha! I can say whatever I want!

Frankly the only one of you I have any real personal investment in is Jou, and that's only because if he blows it we both catch Hell from Dad, and I'd rather not have to put up with that. In all honesty I want to go back to the clinic in Malaysia. I was much happier administering Malaria vaccines without the hassles of the Japanese medical system, even if it meant I had to live with no air conditioning or even sleeping in a hammock.

Frankly, I think Jou is about the most normal of all of you. The rest of you are a bunch of hormonal little freaks who can't keep their pants or their tempers on for more than ten minutes. I swear, I've never seen such blatant displays of adolescent sexuality and egoism in my life outside my own. At least I don't pretend to be better than I actually am, because I am already better than all of you, even you, Mimi-chan. Though to be fair I will never have as nice an ass as you.

As for the rest of you, I would quite happily let you all go to hell and it wouldn't bother me in the least. Don't even think for a second I care about anybody beyond the simple needs of a good laugh. And laugh I shall. HA!

When you kids get some REAL problems, come see me. Jou and I see death almost every day, so don't even BEGIN to THINK you've got it bad until you have to tell the Yamazakis from down the street that they now owe half a year's salary for saving their dear old mum.

Jou. I love you. Don't change a thing. Even if you're a whiny, pessimistic dork who I cannot believe came from between my own dad's legs.

And don't worry about Mimi-kun. At the rate you're going, you'll be sharing sheets with her in no time!

You've probably heard this before, but medicine is a highly competitive field. The only way to move up in this field is to prove that you are better than every other sycophant in scrubs around you in any way possible.

I've just heard on the grapevine that the big wigs at Waseda (including dad) are starting a contest of sorts. The intern with the best bedside manner will get a 15-25% payraise, plus a trip with one of our attending physicians to Okinawa for a special conference on bedside manner for terminally ill patients. I went to this conference when it was held in Tokyo, and it is really worth it. The speakers are great and the seminars are enlightening.

They're going to start observing all of the interns sometime this month. Jou, if you want a hell's chance at succeeding in this career, you would be a damned fool not to go all-out for this.

But...dammit! Why didn't they do these kinds of things when I was an intern? I so would have aced it!